Show Transcription: 

Jo

Welcome to another episode of Business and Sequins. Now in the Business and Sequins Sisterhood, in the month of November 2021, we've actually got the month that we are talking about body confidence, and how we can be more confident with the body that we've given, not just on the outside, but more on the inside as well. And so today's guest knows all about that. And we are so lucky to have with us today the lovely Carla bond. And here's a little bit about Carla. So Carla is the founder and creator of the Think. Feel. YOU! She is a mom, she's a wife and she is a hairdresser. She's also been a speaker and a podcast guest. She is a beach coffee and happiness lover, which I think you'll definitely pick up from this episode. Carla talks to us in this episode all about how we can find a way to love our body and love who we are from the inside out. Carla also gives some great insight at the end with tips. I think the tips part of the whole Business and Sequins Podcast is some of my favorites as well. So have a listen and have a listen to Carla and how she went from being burnt out people pleaser who hated the way that she looked and felt to feeling completely alive, aligned and body confident. She is an incredible woman.

Well, welcome to Business and Sequins. Carla, how are you? 

Carla

Hi, gorgeous Jo. I am fabulous. Thank you. How are you?

Jo

I'm very good. Very, very good. I'm so excited to have you on here. Finally.

Carla

It's so wonderful to be here because I just love everything that you're doing. So to be a part of it, I'm like, Oh, yeah.

Jo

I just love you so much. So for anyone that is listening, I met Carla, earlier this year in June, when I went over to Australia, to the Tina Tower, her Empire Builders retreat, and some people you just gravitate towards, and you just love everything about them. And that's how I feel about Carla as well. And yeah, I love everything that Carla talks about. I love Carla's brand and everything that you encompass. And so I'm just so excited to have you on the podcast. And then of course have you in November, as well as a guest expert into the Business and Sequins Sisterhood as well. So, Carla, I've told the listeners a little bit about you in the introduction, but in your own words, do you want her to tell us a little bit about your journey?

Carla

Sure. Well, thank you so much, again, for having me. And I totally agree when you and I met, we were just like this instant connection of soul sisters or something was going on. So it's so I'm so grateful that the universe bought it for us together. So for everyone listening who doesn't know me, I'm Carla, I'm a wife. I'm a mom of three. I'm originally a country New South Wales girl. But we now live in beautiful sunny Queensland in a little tiny coastal town, which I just love because the ocean does something to my soul. And I am originally a hairdresser. So I feel like that's always worth mentioning. Because I think that my special sauce comes from my 25 years in the hairdressing industry, having those real conversations with women, because we all know that we share that little bit extra, you know, within that personal space with our hairdresser. So a lot of what I do has, I guess ignited and stemmed from some of the conversations that I was having with those other women. And from a professional standpoint, I guess from there, I moved on to do my master's in life coaching and became an NLP practitioner, and then created this brand and platform all around self mastery, so helping women with life and their body confidence. So I absolutely love this vision that I've created to want to help as many women as I can feel, you know, happy and limitless and confident in life and in their body. I guess a bit of a background on my own personal story with my body. So from my biggest adult weight to my lightest adult weight, there's a difference of about 42 kilos. So as you can imagine, the story I've got with my body is telling multi-dimensional, and now it's quite a good one. And, you know, I can remember from such a young age, being quite conscious of my body and sort of comparing it to other people and maybe feeling like, what I had wasn't good enough or the same or all of those things. So I think through the years, you know, as I began to grow older, I probably would have tried almost every diet and plan known to man finding, you know, hoping to find that ultimate happiness, which of course, well now I found it, but it wasn't found in a diet. And then of course, the older I got, you know, I was blessed enough to become a mum, and that changed my body significantly again, you know, and I think as a as a mum and a wife and a business owner and whatever other hats we wear, one of the things that I have noticed that everything I added to my life, I unintentionally got lower and lower and lower on my list of priorities. And when I look back now, that had such a big impact on my body and how I felt, so a lot of what I do in the body competence space is so much more than then our body, you know, it goes quite a way beyond that because I do remember back in about 2016 I had one of those, you know, breakdown to breakthrough moments. And that's I guess, when I really, really recognized how terrible I felt within myself and within my body and that's where the journey you know, I guess to Totally began. And what happened from there is that I begin to have all these conversations with women like I was as if I'd taken off my social mask. And I could have those really real conversations. Because to the outside world, everything looked happy and fabulous and wonderful. But on the inside, I felt lost. And I had no energy. And I hated the way that I, you know, looked and felt. So, I guess through there, I began talking to other women and understanding that I definitely wasn't alone. And there was many women experiencing challenges and lots of different mixed emotions in regards to the way they feel and their body. And I just knew that there was some space to change that story for women.

Jo

Yeah. I mean, you're swinging from my hips shapes, I think I'm exactly the same as you. I've tried every single diet you could possibly think, tried at all. And, you know, going through this process, why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we, you know, because you get to that point where you don't like yourself, but you still can't stop enjoying just getting the cycle. And you're, then you get to a point where you decide that you want to make a change. So then you make a change, but it's only a short lived change. And so we know how good we feel when we do make those changes, but it's just getting back on that horse. And carrying on with it. You know, you said that you got to the stage where you had that breakdown to breakthrough moment. Can I ask? Were you one of your heaviest at that point in regards to weight?

Carla

Yes, I probably was at that point. And when I looked back, I had a coach at the time. And she asked me, who I blamed for the way I looked and felt and I very quickly, and shockingly to myself, said my husband and my children. And she said Why? And I said well, because I don't have time for myself. So that was such a big wake up call. Because when I would get to a place of frustration with my body, I would go on something like a diet or the next gym membership or something like that. But all that was doing was adding chaos to my already chaotic world. And of course, that's never gonna last because it's just this, you know, extra thing and coming up with, you know, the, I guess the idea of wanting to change and it was, you know, coming at it because I hated my body. And I was trying to restrict it and punish it to be something that it wasn't. And something I definitely know now is that you cannot hate yourself into a version of you that you will love. So I've had to completely rewrite the approach of working on your body.

Jo

Yeah, it's, yeah, I'd love that I love those lines that you just use, then it is so so true, that you can't hate yourself into a version that you love. Because you'll still have those same mindset problems that you've got before your body is changed. And, you know, a lot of women we leave ourselves till the very last. Why don't we do that, Carla why?

Carla

So I've done a lot of work in the people pleasing space. And interestingly enough, it's kind of what led me into the competence and the body flow on effect, because what I found is that I was just being a doing for everyone else. And I think as a society, we are taught that that's what makes us a good person, you know, we are here to please everyone and, you know, keep everybody happy, and all of those things. And when I started to break that down, you know, those things are wonderful, when you've got enough to give, but when you're running on empty, and it's happening at the detriment of your own self, it's just like this horrible spiral that's going to lead to just burnout and disaster. So what I've found with people pleasing is I had to really look at why I was doing that, you know, it was essentially killing me. But it was like this unknown addiction that I had to want to go out and you know, just sprinkle glitter on everyone. And so what I realized was that I was actually people pleasing and doing all of that for recognition. So what I was doing was looking for an outside source to give me that, you know, confirmation that I was a good person and that I was appreciated and that people loved me and all of those things. And I was looking for that outside of myself because the truth was, I didn't feel it on the inside. So I was looking for someone else to feel that need within me because If I didn't feel it myself, so I think the addiction wasn't so much to please everyone, when I broke it right down the addiction was more so to feel my own need of that love and appreciation and acknowledgement,

Jo

Yeah, because you're so right to it as an addiction, because it's okay when you're on the high, when you've got lots of input from people, lots of people telling you that your grades, but it's those moments when you don't have any one there that is when you know, you hit that rock bottom and start, because another thing that we do as women is we beat up on ourselves a lot, beat up so much on all of the things that we haven't got. And you know, it was interesting, because I was talking to my daughter, she's 18. And I was just talking to her about, you know, loving the body that she's currently got. Because when she gets to 25, she's gonna wish she had the body at 18. You know, when she gets to 35, she's gonna wish she had that 25 year old body. And you know, and I said in one of those light bulb moments are going to go off you and you're going to actually realize that you aren't big, you're beautiful. You're right in proportion. And I said, so. So enjoy what you've currently got, rather than wanting to be something else.

Carla

Absolutely. And you know, I did a post on this not long ago, you know, when I was 16, I hated my body. And then when I was 24, I wished I looked like I did when I was 16. And then, you know, that continual going on. And you know, when I'm 50 I wish I looked like I did it at 30, you know, and then the caption was, it's never been about your body. And I think that is such a big thing. Because it's about our mindset and the way that we perceive our body in that current moment. That's what needs the work. You know, it's not actually about our body.

Jo

And it's interesting, because, you know, I've talked to so many women through different age groups. And I think some of the conversations that I'm having loving at the moment are with women who are kind of from 55, to, like, 65 seem to have gotten to the stage where they're going, actually, I just don't care anymore. This is me, and I'm rocking it and I'm loving it. I just think to myself, you know, I don't know, maybe a switch does go on at that age, and you do finally just go actually, I'm done with it. This is me now. But yeah, I just think it is a tough journey, though, to get to that point where you do really love yourself. So how do you help women get on that journey? Because it's a mindset. You know, it's a very big mindset game.

Carla

That's right. And I mean, there's my program goes over eight weeks. So the simple thing is, it's never going to be a quick fix, or an easy fix which some of these, you know, 21 day diets and things like that. They're just setting yourself up for that next level of failure. So if you want to really do it properly, you know, there's all of those emotional layers to work through. And it can be fun, you know, it when I say emotional layers, it's not like we're diving deep on all this negative information. It's more, sometimes it's not so much about learning to love your body, but unlearning some of those past experiences and stories that we've told ourselves and that sort of thing. But without diving into all the, you know, the different steps that I take women through, I guess the end thing is that we have an outcome, we have a process, and we have who we are on the inside. And when we are trying to do a diet or something like that, we're just focused on the outcome. So where were we starting there, and then the processes, we're going to eat by restriction, or we're going to work our butts off or something like that. And that's why we fall off track, because we don't have that internal alignment. Whereas when I work with women, from the inside out, you know, really connecting with the truth of who they are, and getting them to come back to, you know, their total essence and remembering how fabulous they are, and all of those things that you know, their body does for them. And we tend to work them from the inside and decide what kind of woman they want to be how they want to feel and really align with that vision that they have for themselves, then we put the process into place, and then they actually just achieve the outcome because it's a flow and effective what's going on from that internal work rather than working from the outside. And like hammering to try and get an end. Because the other thing with that is sometimes when people just jump to the outcome, and they start with the diet or whatever. I'm not saying that they don't work because I've done many of them and got great results. But they haven't lost it. And that's because you know, it gets hard eventually. And so you just stop because there's a dis alignment with the person that you are on the inside. So if you work from the inside out, it just seems so much easier.

Jo

Yeah. Do you find that there's a certain age group that come to you? Like, do you find that? You know, it's kind of a lot easier when you're in your 20s and 30s? And then as you get older, so do you find that you've got a certain age group that you work with more?

Carla

Yes, um, I've got a few girls that are sort of in their early 20s. So, and it's really quite interesting, because they're all so gorgeous, you know, which is why I know from having all these conversations with women, that it's not one particular size, or weight, or body shape, or anything that's going to deliver that beautiful happiness and body confidence to your life, it's definitely more on the inside. So age is kind of a funny thing, because yes, there's some younger, beautiful women who just need that little bit of extra support or guidance to know and love themselves. But a lot of the women that I work with are, you know, anywhere from that 30, to 50 sort of age bracket where they have spent years being a doing for everyone else. And then it's almost like there's this stage where when our children grow up, we kind of have a bit more time for ourselves. And then we realize that we don't necessarily love the way that we look or feel and want to do something about it. But then we don't even know who we are, because we're a little bit lost, because we've, you know, spent so long being and doing for everyone else. So I find that age group between that sort of 30 to 45 is basically a mirror of my story. And it's a lot of my hairdressing clientele. So I just feel like I know, that woman, so well. And that's why, you know, we can dive into things because I remember when I started doing some of this work on myself, some of the things that created huge breakthroughs are things that I would never have known or never have chosen to work on if it hadn't been for another coach. So it's kind of like following that proven strategy. You know, people discover certain things that they can work on that then sort of unlock this potential that they have within them. And once they can tap into that, yeah, these incredible things happen.

Jo

Yeah. And that is amazing, really amazing, because also their age group as well. And you're getting more to kind of, you know, that 40 ish to 55 ish kind of age group as well. Yeah, we've also got menopause that hits on and there too, which does all kinds of crazy things to your mind and your body. You know, how does that impact us?

Carla

Absolutely. And it does, you know, your body changes the way that your body changes, all of those different things, even our body shapes, you know, like, there's certain body shapes that aren't going to react the same way as a different type of body shape. So there's so much from a hormonal point of view, from just a genetics point of view. And it doesn't mean that whatever someone's goal is, it doesn't mean that they can achieve it, it just, there's a power that comes with an understanding of knowing how our bodies work, how hormones work, and the effects that that's going to have and to know when to give yourself a bit of slack. And you know, and I guess that's where the self love and self care comes into play, because it's all connected, you know, and when we are going through those times with menopause, and hormonal changes, and stress levels, and sleep and things like that, they all have such a big impact on our weight on our body and how our body functions and performs. But yet, sometimes, I find women still expecting that nobody should be doing it like it was 15 years ago. And then that frustration kicks in. So sometimes it's just a little bit of a, you know, that knowing that it's okay, and then you can see and be like, Thank you, you know, I can just be.

Jo

Yeah, absolutely. Because also too, I've been talking to a lot of women just in regards to even just wearing color, just to give a bit more of that confidence and a bit. Yeah, a bit brash, and it's interesting because I had a conversation with one of my friends and just to do just start off small, just even a bright pair of earrings just start off really small. And then I zoomed in with her at the beginning of the week, and she was wearing this really lovely top and these silver earrings, and I said to her your wearing colour and she just said, Oh my goodness. She said I have been told by three people this week that I look today that I look really lovely and I just did to its color. Your whole confidence is just lifted through color. And I know that you're listening and I know my friend is listening to this. I know that She's listening. So we're more color because it does, it makes you feel so much more confident.

Carla

It does. And it doesn't actually say it doesn't even have to be huge like you and I wear a lot of black. But I will often, you know, have a fun story. In my salon, I have this thing where I started trying to be, you know, fun Friday. And so I decided to pick a different Spotify channel. And that was just an absolute disaster because the first song was fine. And then the second song, I could not get to my phone quick enough to try and change the song with the language and the colorfulness coming out of that. And so I decided that wasn't the kind of fun I was aiming for. So I decided to switch to red lipstick. That was my Friday mode, you know? And it was hilarious that every single client that comes in on a Friday, I haven't got it on yet. Um, but they're like that lipstick. You look so confident. So funny. So you know, I often say animal print and lips red lipstick is like my go to if I needed a pick me up because instantly the moment I put it on, there's like this unstoppable power that comes over you.

Jo

Yeah, I love, I love it. But it takes time to be able to do that. And to just, you know, integrate them because I remember years ago, when I used to just wear the same pair of jeans, the same T shirt, the same pair of shoes for about two or three years, I think after having children, and to the thought of a bright lipstick thin or bright earrings sort of just been too far stretched for me. But yeah, I think just introducing it gradually over time. And as you said, a pair of lipid earrings and red lipstick goes a long way I might try that. Actually, I haven't got any lipid earrings. But I might give that a go.

Carla

Give it a go. And it's so funny. Like another thing that I find when I see women that I've got something a little bold on like that, I always comment and give them this, you know, gorgeous compliment on just a passing comment, your it could be a complete stranger be like you're fabulous today, or I love your lipstick, or blah, blah, blah. And you see their body language change too, because it gives them that extra confidence to be like, Oh, I have got this going on. And it's so funny because I think as women, we can worry so much about what other people are going to think. And if we're not used to wearing color, or we're not used to doing something bold like that, we can feel a little exposed. And the truth is that hardly anyone I know is judged as much as what we think we are in our head. And it's often the opposite. When we do step out and feel and look fabulous, we glow a little differently. And so women are more inclined to actually be like, she is rocking that today. Or she looks amazing. Or I'm going to go and try that adverse to what we often think is that negative story in our own heads. So yes, women, if you're listening, relax a little put a little color on. And if you're going to worry about what people are thinking of you think the fabulous things that they're going to be thinking about you rather than the negative things. Maybe you inspire someone else to step out of their comfort zone.

Jo

Yes, I think I try not to judge myself too harshly because I've got two teenagers and they judge me harshly enough. And so you know, they always tell me what I'm doing right and wrong with my fashion. And I'll never forget one time, I turned up to pick them up. And then we went to the shopping mall. And it was one of those days where I was I love magenta pink, just love it. And I was wearing magenta pink shoes and black overalls, but this big bright magenta top. And I got out of the car. And they just both looked at me and they just said, Oh, you look like a clown. Like you've even got your pink shoes. And you're like this, what are you doing? And just at that same time this man walked past and just oh my gosh, she looked great. And I just said to those girls, there you go look at that. And so I think I've got teenagers and teenagers can absolutely give it to you harshly. But now I'm getting to the stage where I just I don't listen to them. So I'm like, if it makes me happy, that is all that matters. And sometimes I just love rocking out stuff just to shock them a bit as well. Because I just you know, get them out of their comfort zone too. But I want them to look at me and go, Yeah, my mom's confident. My mom doesn't care what she looks like. So it's actually okay for me to be like that as well.

Carla

And I love that you just said that. If it makes me happy, I'm going to rock it. And I think that's something that as moms we need to say out loud, because even though it might be embarrassing to our children, there will be that part of the message that sinks into their brain going. She kind of looks ridiculous, but she's happy and she's rocking it so okay. And then at some point in time when they are ready to you You know, break them out and become more of who they are, they'll have that little memory of going well, you know what, my mom felt great. And she rocked it. And she actually nailed it. So it gives them, you know, that inspiration, I guess, to eventually step into that same power.

Jo

I absolutely love it. So tell me, you've got your course. So your courses starting, they Think. Feel. YOU!, when did the doors open for that Carla?.

Carla

So they opened on November 8, which I am so excited about, we've had so many beautiful women and such great experiences with the women that I've got going through the program already. So I am so excited to open up for the next round, because this will be the last round as well, for 2021. And it's really interesting, you know, I was thinking about from a time perspective, coming into the end of the year, life gets crazy, you know, it's almost like our brains can go do we dare add one more thing to our to do list. But can I encourage any woman that is feeling that way, too, maybe that is the exact reason they need to look at doing something because it's amazing what we can achieve and the difference it can make when we actually commit to ourselves. So when you take that, you know, draw that line in the sand and commit to working on yourself. It's actually amazing what can happen from there. So as we lead into busy times, it's so nice to be able to have that bit of a cheer squad, like you know, with your sisterhood, building everyone up and encouraging everyone to make those right choices, especially in the busy moments.

Jo

And then you're going to be coming in and you're going to be doing an Expert Session in the sisterhood, which for any women that are listening who don't know about the sisterhood, it's the Business and Sequins Sisterhood. And there is a membership sisterhood site on Facebook that you can join, just search for Business and Sequins Sisterhood. And Carla is going to be doing our guests' guest expert session. And that was on Monday, November 8. Okay. And you're going to be talking to us about body confidence. I'm so excited for all of my members or the sisterhood to be able to hear it because I think, yeah, and our part of the world we're coming into summer, and summer is when we like to take clothes off. And so having the confidence to be able to take clothes off, I think is just perfect timing for summer. And I'm so excited to help you coming into the sisterhood and giving your just your wealth of knowledge on the topic because I think it's a topic that we don't talk about enough.

Carla

I agree. And I'm so excited to come in and chat with everyone about it because we're it's the you know, the Ultimate Body Confidence masterclass, we're going to uncover. But there's so much in there, you know, talking about our body image, and then the truth behind having the confidence and the woman behind our body and all of those different things. So I am so pumped, it's going to be fabulous. And I just so hope to bring so much value to your beautiful members.

Jo

Thank you so much. And so Carla, we're going to put all of your details with this with this live stream as well as with the podcast, so that people can jump on and they can sign up to your course as well. And how much does your course Carla?

Carla

It's $297. And the program goes for eight weeks, but they actually get 12 weeks access into that membership. So that they can have that extra time to soak up all the goodness and really, you know, dive into the parts that are going to make the biggest difference for them. And we also have guest expert sessions coming in. So that gives people that little bit of extra time to enjoy those guests that come in and speak to us about their areas of expertise too.

Jo

And that's such a no brainer amount as well to be able to invest into yourself and to be able to do just that could be life changing. It's such a small nominal amount as well. So I'm excited. So for any listeners out there who are thinking that you would like to give bit more positive about your body, especially with summer coming, or even winter to it's another good time to do it in winter. And then you know, Carla is definitely the person to be talking to especially who Think. Feel. YOU! course. So I'm really excited. Carla, thank you so much. I'd love to unpack the super more because I just I love the whole psyche behind it and the whole way that we think as women and our thought process behind things, so I'm hoping that I can unpack it with you again at some other time.

Carla

Absolutely.

Jo

But I want to just say thank you so much. So for anyone that's listening, jump into the Business and Sequins Sisterhood and all To get on to that guest expert session with Karla. And yeah, thank you so much color. But before we go, we've got a couple of things. So usually, guests that come along, give us a couple of tips for our listeners. Have you got some tips that you might want to share with us?

Carla

Sure. So I think I've got three little hot tips that will help you with, you know, starting your journey on body confidence. Number one would be to focus on how you feel. So when we focus more on how we feel, rather than how we look, things start to fall into place. So if you want to feel energetic, and you want to feel sexy, and you want to feel strong, and all of those things, that's an emotion that you can actually tune into now, regardless of the way that you look. So I find so many women think I'll be happy when. So I want you to really notice, when you say you want to lose five kilos, or whatever it is that you want to achieve before summer hits. Ask yourself why like, what is the ultimate reason that you think five kilos is going to make a difference, and go after the feeling that that will give you because everything we want in life, we only want because of the feeling we think it's going to give us so that would be tip number one. Number two would be to work with your body, not on your body. So by that, I mean we touched on it through the episode about not working out as punishment, and not eating by restriction and all of those things that actually moving and eating and resting and, you know, behaving like you love yourself. So when you start to understand how your body works, and things like that, and you work with it, rather than working on it. It's like this amazing transformation takes place that you're like, how did that happen. And then my biggest but final tip is to become a priority in your life. So if you are on the very bottom of your to do list, I remember when I was on the very bottom of my to do list. It was I often say that my body was a reflection of what was going on in my mind and in my life. So when I started to become a priority, and I put myself first and I know that women struggle with that, because we find it selfish, but when we do that, and we become a priority, it's amazing how much more you have to give, and how much more you know, you create those pockets of time to go for a walk or to just unwind or to read a book. And indirectly, they have such a positive fit effect on our body and how we show up in this beautiful world. So that would be my three little top tips.

Jo

Oh my gosh, they are so good. Thank you so much. And they're such great tips or tips that any woman who's listening can implement straightaway. So thank you so much. And then also to my two compulsory questions that I ask everyone that comes on the show so if you could pick a color of sequins what color would it be and why?

Carla

Well, this is quite a funny one because I if I you know my brain says black because I'm like a full black sequin everything. However, I feel like I needed to be like a complete gold confetti driven sequin because my much bright bubbly happily colour that comes from within me. But I am on the exterior of black sequin.

Jo

So it is so you've picked a black sequin is that right? I think so. Black sequin kind of underpinning a bit of shimmer of gold. Absolutely. Yeah, I love that. And then also to on our sequin scale. So from the sequin which is number one, which is you find it hard to get up in the morning and get out of bed all the way to 10 which is you throw sequins and glitter everywhere you go. How is your life at the moment tracking on the sequin scale?

Carla

Well, I would like to say I'm a ten throwing sequins everywhere I go. I finished I went to the gym this morning at quarter past five which I will say I actually hate getting up for. But once I've done it, I love it. And after I finish the gym, we always walk up the road a little bit and have a coffee and I said good morning to a man this morning. And he said of course it's the ever smiling shining Carla. So I think that was that's a sign this morning that I'm ten.

Jo

I love it. I love it. That is brilliant. And my friend, thank you so much for coming on. I'm sure that the women who are listening to this have just got some tips and things to take away and definitely some food for thought. But thank you so much for coming on and sharing your wisdom with us and I can't wait to do this again with you.

Carla

So grateful. Thank you so much Jo for having me. You are all sorts of fabulous. So it's been an absolute honor to be able to be coming on here and having a chat with you.

Jo

Thank you and get to all of the listeners don't get jumped on to Business and Sequin sisterhood and join Carla exposition. Take care and that's this episode out.